Thank You Notes

Thank you inexpensive Vidal Sassoon blow dryer. You are an essential modern convenience. I have owned you for almost five years and you have served me faithfully. You dry my hair and inexplicably lull my child to sleep. Without you I would look like a wet dog.

Thank you stupid drivers of the world. Even though you cut me off in a traffic jam and lay on your horn as if to accuse me of the traffic violation you make the rest of us idiots look intelligent by comparison.

Thank Christmas-y scented wax melting bars. My apartment can smell like Christmas every day which is far better than the current sewage smell that seems to pervade this particular area. Plus you come with amusing, quirky names like: Cinnamon Bear, Eskimo Kiss and Cozy Fireside.

Thank you Swiffer Wet Jet. You make cleaning a breeze. I always have clean floors minus the messy buckets and rags. It’s true; I'll never go back to my old mop again.

Thank you Big Lots. For being big.  And having lots.

Thank you Brita Water Filter. You help to quench the thirst of those of us who really can tell a difference between filtered water and tap water.

Thank you Natural Ice Cherry Chapstick. My lips look naturally glossy but never feel sticky. You conveniently fit in any pocket. I can kiss my husband without making him look like a drag queen. Plus you entertain my baby when I forget to bring a toy while running errands.





Thank you Jack. You’ve brightened my life in so many ways. You make me laugh when you have gas that is so loud it actually startles you. (Yes, this has in fact happened before.)  I always feel loved and needed because I walk into a room and your face lights up. Boxes and tags are more amusing to you than all of your toys. Whenever you’re playing on the floor you are immediately drawn to any shoes that may be lying on the ground.  You are indeed a child after my own heart. I just can’t get enough of your scrumptious little face and your charming personality. Keep up the good work.

Thank you Jared. You make me smile when I’m sad. And laugh when I’m happy. Even though this phrase has become a cliche to some extent, you truly are my best friend. You keep me company and listen to all of my crazy ideas. You make me feel beautiful every day no matter what I look like. No one can take care of me the way you do. And I give thanks every day that you’re mine. You’re my knight in shining armor and a better hero than any fictional character I can imagine. (Especially those stupid vampires.) I never thought life could be so good and I wouldn’t want to share mine with anyone but you.
P.S. I love that you're so tall!